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Naughty nurses too scary for Halloween
The Center for "The Hospital shouldn't be a House of Horror," rasped Sandy "Scream" Summers, the Center's executive director, and a reported Wiccan. "The naughty nurse is a corpse bride. She scares away the resources we need to resolve the nursing shortage--which is sending thousands to the graveyard. Real nurses save lives with advanced skills. But having a naughty nurse is as dangerous as having an operation performed by Doctors Itchy and Scratchy," said Summers, laughing insidiously. The Center has been haunting major costume retailers, including Party City, 3 Wishes and Costume Express, urging them to leave naughty nurses out of their ghastly Halloween marketing plans. The group is also asking consumers to tell some other tale from the crypt. It notes that the Southern Poverty Law Center's highly regarded "Teaching Tolerance" campaign has likewise urged the public to reconsider harmful stereotypes in its Halloween costumes.
The Center does not fear the sexual element of the costumes. But it says the nursing theme discourages nurses, encourages sexual abuse, and trivializes the need for more clinical and educational resources. Last year, the Center protested bone-chilling naughty nurse posters used in a Halloween blood drive to promote the horror film "Saw III." Brassard had a suggestion for anyone who missed the naughty nurse at Halloween. "Try dressing up as the 'naughty nurse''s patient," she cackled. "The gown ties in the back, but don't forget that cute little toe tag the morgues use! For more fun, try post-autopsy!" Center leaders declined to comment on reported links between the group's Baltimore base and unexplained nocturnal events at the nearby grave of Edgar Allan Poe. However, an informed source nervously dismissed rumors that the group's headquarters was a deserted mansion filled with strange black birds and a telltale thumping sound.
See the Center's Board of Directors or Advisory Panel or About us pages. For more information, please contact: Sandy Summers, RN, MSN, MPH Andrea Brassard, RN, DNSc, MPH, ANP
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